Wednesday, July 09, 2003
It's been a day already and i am still somewhat stuck in the depths of devastation...
Yeah i may be laughing and talking like usual, but deep inside my heart still hurts... All of a sudden i feel like if i dun smile or laugh, i will cry... Well wat can i do...
For those of u who r wondering wat i am talking about, i got back my maths paper yesterdae... Guez the shock and horror when i read the score off my paper... I mean, i've never gotten such a low score for any subject in my whole life u knoe... And yah i actualli practised hundreds of maths questions over a span of around 2 weeks during the june break... Look where they got me...
In retrospect, i can onli sigh sigh sigh... Yeah i have no one but myself to blame... I shld have started practising maths years ago and perhaps i wld have at the veri least passed this time's CT... 2 weeks is juz not enuff... I've come to the conclusion that i am born wif a deficiency in maths skills and i hafta work 10 times harder than ppl... So perhaps i shld have practised like 10 weeks beforehand or sth...
Well, everyone is telling me not to lose hope, that i shld aim for the prelims instead... I knoe that, but i think this pain wld certainly have to take some time to subside... It's a big blow realli... But it sounded a big major alarm - that if i dun start studying like mad, my door to university could veri well be closed for me... For the time being, i juz hafta nurse a broken heart... But wat makes me feel more upset is that i'm not the onli one doing so, my parents are too... 3 hearts are shattered juz coz i did not put more effort into studying... I can onli hope that the next time round, i wun disappoint them again...
Yesterdae was also a sad dae for most of Singapore i think... It also came as a shock to me when i heard the news about the death of the iranian twin sisters... It is so so sad... It realli set me thinking about life and everything else... Their courage and determination inspires me greatly... Indeed, many of us have taken our lives for granted... Those 2 ladies had to risk their lives for 2 separate individual lives in return... But tragically, they did not survive to lead the independent lives they had yearned to live... Wat a great great pity...
May the souls of the 2 sisters rest in peace and may God wrap his loving arms around their families and friends and support them wif his love...
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