I'm beginning to realise a fact about myself. I'm stupid, realli.

When it comes to written assignments like reports and business letters etc, although i take great pains in completing them, the end result will still turn out to be disappointing. I always find it so difficult to express myself properly when writing these assignments, and i'll end up using realli simple words to get my msg across... For example, take a look at this sentence:

"She is a diligent and capable employee with an excellent track record."

Sounds plain and boring, no? Now look at this:

"She is highly efficient, proactive and genuinely interested in creating value for the company. She also had a glowing testimonial from her previous employer."

Now, doesn't this sound so much better? No prizes for guessing which version was written by urs truly, and which assignment got better comments eventually.

When it comes to oral presentations, all hell breaks loose. I stutter, stammer, forget my lines, avoid eye contact wif the audience, look stupid and sound even more stupid. Public speaking is indeed my weakest link, there's no doubt about it. I can't even deliver a 3-min speech properly, for God's sake. No matter how i practise and rehearse till 5am the prev nite, i'll still screw up on the dae itself. I feel so hopeless u knoe.

The worst thing that can ever happen, is when ur tutor picks u to stand in front of the whole claz to give ur analysis on an article. And subjects u to total humiliation for a full 5 mins, while throwing all sorts of difficult qns in ur face. So wat do u do? U smile sheepishly at her, and tell her that u dun have the answers to her qns. She smirks, and continues to fire more qns at u while observing ur response intently. U stand there helplessly, hoping to dig a hole to conceal urself. That was the longest 5 mins of ur life.

After reading wat i've juz written, i think i'm not talking sense. Ha. This further affirms my point: my command of English realli sucks. Period.

BlueStar sparkled at 6:42 PM  ~  0 stars

I am depressed. My morale is at an all-time low.

I am stressed. I am too busy. I dun have the time to breathe.

I am tired. Both mentally and physically. I feel like giving up on everything. But can i?

I am depressed... Or did i mention it already?

BlueStar sparkled at 2:33 AM  ~  0 stars

At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquility and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).

You haven't been feeling that great lately. Both physically and mentally you are exhausted. To your best friends, those who know you and love you, it shows. Your self esteem has been reduced almost to a minimum and in order to recover - and recover you will - it is necessary that you get away from it all, even if it be only for a few days

You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You loathe to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non-fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

This is almost like 100% true. Hai.

Take it here.

BlueStar sparkled at 4:06 AM  ~  0 stars

I'm beginning to realise how different i am from everyone else.

I'm still pretty much a naive, innocent teenager wif no xin1 ji1. I dun plot against people in order to get wat i want.

I dun think and plan too far ahead. I take each each dae as it comes. I can't imagine wat i'll be like in 2 years' time.

I dun think much about my career. I dunno wat i'll be working as in the future. A marketing executive? But i dun socialise well wif ppl... Die...

I dun have the flair for writing. Esp for writing business letters and reports. I take 3 daes to finish one assignment, while others complete it effortlessly in half an hour. But i'll be dealing wif a lot of those next time... Die...

I suck in writing resumes, cover letters and what-have-yous. I've no idea how to flaunt my talents and accomplishments, and oso how to 'sell' myself to the employer using that few sheets of paper. I've poor writing skills, remember?

I neva knew till todae that if u r applying for a marketing position, u must label all kinds of sports as ur fav hobbies/interests. But i dun play any kind of sports! Oh, u mean i must fake it and write it down? Oh.

Since when did the world become so fake? Or was it fake all along, but i simply din realise it?

BlueStar sparkled at 11:43 PM  ~  0 stars

It's holidaes! Mid-term break! Yay!

I've sch on mon, tues, and wed! Yay!

I've 3 assignments to complete and 1 presentation to prepare! Yay!

And my mid-term break is onli 1 week long! Yay!

BAH.

BlueStar sparkled at 10:33 PM  ~  0 stars

I'm officially the proud owner of this precious baby!



The Canon Digital IXUS 50! Courtesy of my parents, dear, and myself haha... (It's supposed to be my belated bdae present, so everyone chipped in! Hehe...)

For those of u who r wondering y i got IXUS 50 instead of IXUS i5, well it's coz i5 doesn't have optical zoom... So sad rite! It has been my dream camera for so long (and it still is, coz i juz love the red colour!)...

Nevertheless, i realli love this darling and i promise to treasure it and treat it well! =) Yay! i finally own a digital camera! *wide grin*

P.S: I love COMEX 2005! =)

BlueStar sparkled at 1:08 AM  ~  0 stars

There were no surprises. Blind Man won. Wat a joke. Haha.

I shall not repeat my argument all over again. That's juz gonna bore everyone to death.

All i hafta sae to Kelly is: Hey u did realli great tonite!!! It was definitely ur best performance in the entire season! All ur songs were perfect, and u were oozing wif superstar appeal! And ur rendition of 'Bei Ai De Nu Ren' made me tear... No matter wat, u will always be my superstar, and i'm looking forward to the release of ur debut album wif Universal Music! Continue to jia you!

We all knoe who was the one who deserved to win. And that alone, is enough.

BlueStar sparkled at 1:03 AM  ~  0 stars