Saturday, November 13, 2004
Warning: This is gonna be a long entry, so get ready some popcorn and, perhaps, a large coke as well.
8 hrs has passed since the last 'pens down'. Pure relief. That's wat i'm feeling now. No i'm not delirious, i'm juz veri veri relieved that it's all over. Over for good.
This is the 1st time in my life... That after a series of major exams, i'm not feeling immensely happy. In fact, i'm feeling a little down now. Perhaps even a little scared.
This is the 1st time in my life... That i spent 1 whole mth of mugging 24/7. I've been sleeping on the average of like 4 hrs a dae... When i wake up early in the morning, i mug. During meal times, i take time off to cook (i've been eating 80% of my own cooking for the past 2 weeks), and when i return, i mug. At 3 am, when most ppl r already asleep, i'm still mugging. Never (i emphasize the word '
never') in my life have i mugged so intensively, that if u were to ask me wat mth/date/day it was, i seriously wld not knoe. I've lost touch wif the whole of the outside world, i dunno wat's happening ard me at all. Every dae it's a routine - eat, mug, sleep and wake up to mug again. Trust me, u wun knoe wat it's like till u've been thru it. (Ask anyone in NTU rite now, u wld knoe i'm not kidding.)
This is the 1st time in my life... That i stayed away from home for almost 2 weeks. I've been mugging here at my hall, as it's the onli place i can realli sit down and focus 200% on mugging. It's not that bad actualli and i dun miss home that much (my parents came to visit me wif good food last weekend!), and i'm realli loving this 'nest' of mine like crazee. I love mopping the floor of my own room, washing my own clothes, cooking my own meals etc... U get my pt.
This is the 1st time in my life... That i felt so drained and so stressed up and had difficulty breathing while i was preparing for exams. The stress is realli indescribable, seriously. Who was the one who said that uni exams r easy stuff, u juz need to get a pass?! I promise if i managed to dig u out, u'll kiss the sole of my shoe.
This is the 1st time in my life... That i dun feel confident of passing any of the papers i took. I worked hard, but the papers r juz too tough for me... I even made a big blunder for my 1st paper (accounting) - I tot the paper ends at 4.30 instead of 4, and when the examiner shouted 'pens down', i was so shocked that i cried. I left ard 30 marks worth of qns untouched (the paper is 100 marks by the wae). Todae's last paper (FM) was the hardest paper among the 4 i've taken, and i swear i felt like crying when i was attempting the qns. I feel so disheartened after every paper, simply coz i din even have the chance to apply wat i've been studying for weeks. I feel like all my effort has gone to waste... Wat can i sae? I'm so scared of failing, i dun wanna retake any subjs...
So here i am now, sitting here and blogging this long entry, and feeling down. Stupid isn't it? Many of my classmates r dancing the nite away at Zouk and Chinablack now, some r singing ktv till dawn... Everyone is celebrating... I feel like celebrating too, but i juz dun have the mood to. Someone help me chase the blues away...
P.S: I wanna sae jia you and bez of luck to everyone out there who's still having exams/preparing for their exams... Take care u guys and it's gonna be over soon... Esp to grandma: Hang in there for 4 more daes!
P.P.S: Leandra went out last fri. Wat a waste of talent... And a few hrs ago, Daphne is finally eliminated. Juz go back and continue studying lah... Ur rendition of 'Ni Yao De Ai' is the worst thing i've heard in years (i bet everyone agrees wif me). Special mention about Taufik: Ur voice and ur songs r starting to make us all swoon... U r doing great, continue to give ur bez!
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