Friday, January 28, 2005
Sth happened. Shan't elaborate.
Sets me thinking. Are all adults 'rational-thinking adults'? Do they realli knoe wat they r doing? Are they aware of the full consequences of wat they r doing?
By doing this, u'll hurt someone innocent. But who cares. U juz wanna have it ur wae. Coz u've had enuff.
3 words. Selfish human behaviour. I shudder at the thought that there r many of these heartless ppl ard...
Ironically, in OB, i'm beginning to learn more about human behaviour and reasons to explain it... I realise that ppl can react so extremely to mere simple situations... One situation sparks a thousand different reactions...
Y must u complicate things further? The world is already such a complicated place...
The world is full of self-centered individuals who wld do anything to get wat they want, even if it means hurting their loved ones... Is this the cruel world that i hafta live in for the rest of my life? I dun dare to even think.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Random thought of the dae: Singing competitions.
For as long as i could remember, i've been dreaming of taking part in one. I juz wanna give it a try. I knoe my vocals r far from being perfect, in fact, they r juz passable... But somehow deep down inside, i juz wish that one dae, i can stand on the stage and sing to an audience... I juz wanna experience that feeling. However, when someone tells me that hey, i can go join Talentime, i'll juz treat it as a nice compliment and that's it. Coz there'll be this tiny voice that says...
How can u compete wif those real talents out there?
The closest i've gotten to participating in a singing competition was when i was pri 5. I was in love wif this song 'Tie3 Chuang1' (Steel window) from this 'Nv2 Zi3 Jian1 Yu4' ('Women's Prison', a drama serial), and i tot i wld try for Talentime wif this song... But i din get to go up to stage eventually.
I din knoe i had to hand in a tape of the song i wanna sing...
So my 1st and onli chance of taking to the stage was foiled. I did stay to see part of the audition though, and when they called out my name, i fled. Since then, i've neva had the courage to take part in any more of those talentime competitions...
In sec sch, i din dare to enter talentime coz i can't imagine malu-ing myself in front of hundreds of ppl... In JC, talentime was such a big-scale event, u had to queue up for tickets to attend the event... Imagine the tons of talent in there... Enuff said.
But juz give it a try?
Hmmm i juz dun have the courage i guez... I knoe i'm not as good as the others, so although i wish to take part, i juz dun dare to (tok about cognitive dissonance here). Wat if i can't even make it through the auditions (which is highly possible)? Perhaps, one dae, i might muster up enuff courage, set my 'face' aside, and juz go for it... Let's wait and see... ;P
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Todae is
Jay Chou's bdae! And todae is oso...
Siru's 20th birthdae! Happy birthdae Grandma!!!
Monday, January 17, 2005
High expectations. Y does everyone have high expectations on me...
Feel so lost during tutorials nowadaes... Seems like i got pretty good tutors (who indirectly stress u out a lot) for most tutorials, and i realli feel i can't meet up to their expectations. Esp for OB tut, when the professor told us a whole lot of scary things about life and the working world etc... Shall not elaborate over here, but she said stuff like how she expected us to be the bez (coz her students
can onli be the bez and nothing less) and how she doesn't even bother to look at ppl who r not the bez. She even said that the least we could do now is to set up a business while we r studying, or perhaps speculate in stocks or sth, so that it can act as a backup for us when we graduate...
Is it me? Or has the world changed? I'm juz a student, u knoe? And i onli wish to play my role well...
Been feeling veri stressed for the past few daes (after listening to 2 hrs of 'lecturing' from the highly intimidating OB tutor, who wun?)... Recently, i've been stopping too often to think: 'Am i realli in the rite course? Am i realli cut out to do business?'... I feel i'm struggling too hard to keep myself from drowning...
Thursday, January 13, 2005
It's a pity that i dun have chinese software installed, or i'll have blogged this entry in chinese...
I juz finished reading this book, called 'Ai Qing De Hai Yang' (loosely translated as 'The Ocean of Love')... It's been a long time since i was so touched after reading a book, and this book made me feel this wae... It's not a realli special book, except that unlike other stories, this was written in the first-person perspective. Perhaps that's y it felt more real and i felt 'closer' to the story... It's juz a story wif a veri simple storyline, and unlike others which can be pretty exaggerating, this one stands out coz of its 'real-ness'... It can happen to u, me, or anyone on the street...
The book was written by one of my fav chinese authors, but wat sets it apart from her other books, is the so-called 'theme' of the book - fate. Fate is such a strange thing, and it can be realli cruel at times... It can let 2 ppl who r deeply in love cuo4 guo4 one another and go off in opposite directions juz coz of of 1 thought, or 1 action. Yi1 nian4 zhi1 cha1, u knoe? And this will eventually lead to regrets, but there's no wae that things can go back to the same again... Zhi3 hui4 liu1 xia4 yong3 heng2 de4 yi2 han4...
- Digress- Argh i can't express myself properly using english terms... I wanna write in chinese!
I always prefer to read bittersweet stories instead of happy ones... In fact, i actualli love sad stories. I feel that they r juz closer to reality... Perhaps i'm pessimistic in this sense... Hmmm... Juz have a lot of gan3 chu4 now... Shall blog in chinese next time...
Do u believe in fate? I realli do...
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Hey it's not past 12am yet...
Happy anni dear! *muacks* =)
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.
The Four types of Idealists are:
Healers (INFP) Counselors (INFJ) Champions (ENFP) Teachers (ENFJ)
(I took the Myer-Briggs test before and i'm a ENFP! Haha i'm a champion!!! =P)
Take this interesting test
here!
Monday, January 03, 2005
It's the 1st dae of sch!!! And i juz woke up at 1.15pm. Haha.
Din come back to hostel last nite coz i wanna watch the 8pm show (Lan Xue Ren) and oso spend 1 last nite wif my bed b4 i return... So i woke up at 5.30am todae and took bus to sch wif my bro haha. Felt this wave of nostalgia as i witnessed the 1st-dae-of-sch morning crowd... It's been so long since i last took bus to sch at this kinda time! Alighted at the 3rd Chinese High stop (apparently that's how big the sch is) to change bus, and i saw many girls in SN uniform there (guez they r going to either NJ or HCJC ba)... Some were familiar faces coz they were my library juniors last time! And to think they were onli in sec 1 when i graduated in 2001! I swear i felt like some qian1 nian2 lao3 yao1 at that moment sia.
Anywae, by the time i stepped foot into my hostel, it was 8.35am le. Wat a long journey! So after unpacking and all, i 'went back to sleep' at 11+ and happily slept for 2 hrs haha. Not bad huh for the 1st dae of sch... ;P Yupz my business law lect later is from 4.30-6.30pm, so i can slack ard for a while more! Lalalaz.
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