It's sundae. The dreaded dae. Mid-term break is officially over.

I dun wanna go back to hostel tonite... I dun wanna go back to that cruel world and get lost in it again...

Have been feeling so stressed this week as i slogged my life away doing written assignments, projs etc... And now that it's sundae, my stress level has juz reached a peak. I still have a presentation tmr, where i, alone, hafta present a total of 18 slides to a claz of geniuses who r juz happily waiting to scrutinise any mistake i may make... Dun ask me y i hafta do this alone, it was actualli supposed to be a grp presentation...

I'm stressed. Seriously stressed. Veri disillusioned as well. I dunno y the hell am i slogging my life away, losing so much sleep and appetite on assignments and projs that i dun even have a clue about, and trying so hard to understand the stacks and stacks of notes. I dun even understand y i'm in this course in the 1st place. Juz wat the hell am i doing? Y am i here? I dunno either.

If i can have it my wae, i'll juz quit this course rite away. And go get a job and start my working life.

BlueStar sparkled at 6:13 PM  ~  0 stars

I no longer have any feeling while listening to Jay Chou's songs anymore... The 'shen1 qing2' feel is juz lost, as it is impossible to feel so when u knoe the song is sung by someone who's not devoted and true to his love in real life...

Looks like all guys r the same, aren't they?

P.S: For my take on the Jay-Patty relationship and my opinions on how Jay had handled this whole matter, go take a look at mummy's blog. My view is pretty much the same as her. I think Jay realli fu4 le Jolin. By being so cruel as to distance himself away from her and not even acknowledging her as his ex. It juz makes me xin1 han2.

Edited: After reading more news on this Jay-Patty brouhaha, i've come to conclude that Jay is realli juz too much. I'm so utterly disappointed wif him. His 'i'm happily attached already, so dun come near me' attitude towards Jolin is so mean... And the news todae said that Jolin has been spotted looking veri devastated and heartbroken etc... Jay's actions and all have realli hurt her too deeply. Poor Jolin... Hope she'll recover soon and forget about that fu4 xin1 han4.

BlueStar sparkled at 12:18 AM  ~  0 stars

Ladies and gentlemen, BlueStar's debut single is now out and available at all good record stores!

Ok i was kidding about the good record stores part. Haha.

Todae i finally realised the biggest dream of my life - to record a track of my own! Hehe of coz this is all thanx to dear for sponsoring me! *hugs*

My 60 mins of fame took place in this small recording studio in Century Square, where there was this huge window pane rite behind me so everyone who walked past can actualli SEE me singing! Some ppl even stopped to stare at me. It was quite funny. I sang the song ('Yong Qi' by Fish Leong) ard 4 times, wif the help of a sound engineer who gave me tips on how to improve on the pitching etc... Eventually, he chose the bez version to record it into the cd, and ta-da! My 'debut single' was born. 1 thing to mention: my $38 package does not include editing, so my whole song was recorded in 1 take! Hehe. *gleeful smile*

After letting a grand total of 4 ppl hear the song, the general consensus was that it is 'listenable'. Not bad a try for an amateur haha. I personally feel that it's ok lah, considering that i din go off-key while singing... It juz sounds like an ordinary girl-next-door singing lor... Would give myself 6/10! Hehe. =) Anyone who wishes to take a listen to the track, feel free to drop me a msg and i'll send u thru msn or sth haha...

Disclaimer: BlueStar will not be liable for any damaging of eardrums or psychological trauma caused as a result of listening to the song. Try it at ur own risk. Haha. =P

P.S: After listening to the track for a few more times, i think i'll give myself 5/10 instead. Juz pass.

BlueStar sparkled at 11:42 PM  ~  0 stars

Let me start off by wishing dear a...
Happy happy happy 21st Birthdae!!! *muacks* =)

Random thought of the dae: my emotional attachment towards Singapore. It's time for me to put my knowledge on sociology to good use, and write an argument on the pros and cons of living in Singapore.

Nah, i was kidding. In fact, i totally detest my sociology module. I dun even think i understand sociology at all, let alone talk about having knowledge of it.

Anywae, some ppl have been discussing about emigration recently. Migrating to western countries like Australia, New Zealand, USA etc. Like todae, the topic on migration was brought up again. I juz felt the sudden urge to blog about this and perhaps, give a little of my 2 cents' worth (i promise it'll juz be 2 cents, and not 2 dollars or sth)...

Honestly, i've neva thought of migrating. To put it plainly (and perhaps a bit mushily), i love Singapore too much to leave. Yes, ppl may argue that the education system here is too stressful for students, the working life too stressful for adults, or generally, the life here is going at a pace too fast... But all this will not make me leave this sunny island i've lived in all my life. My family and loved ones r here, my frens r here, my beautiful memories r here, and most importantly, my roots r here. Singapore is my homeland, and i love every bit of this place... This is where i realli belong, where i can realli fit in into the society. I can't imagine uprooting myself from here and settling in some western country, coz i believe no matter how u try, u'll neva realli fit in, and u'll always be treated as some 2nd-class citizen.

I accept the stress as part and parcel of life as a Singaporean, and i dun think i'll resort to emigration juz coz of the hectic life here... Ppl will always sae things like 'oh Australia is so good, they realli get to enjoy life there' etc... I believe that u gain some, u lose some. I've been to Australia before and seen their relaxing pace of life, but there's sth i dun like at all - the shops close as early as 5pm! So u mean i can onli stay at home and do nothing but watch tv at nite? Wat if i wanna eat supper? (as usual, the gluttonous me =P) But u see my pt? As the saying goes, 'the grass is always greener on the other side', thus ppl will always yearn to move to a so-called 'better place'... As for me, i'm satisfied wif my life here, and i'd rather stay put at this tiny patch of grass... =)

BlueStar sparkled at 11:35 PM  ~  0 stars

I hereby declare that my hongbao intake this new year is less than $200.

Pretty pathetic huh? Well, considering that 95% of my relatives put in onli $4 for each hongbao... *sighs*

Had a great time feasting these few daes... All the tarts, cookies, sweets, chocolates, nuts, and my fav, love letters! I love them all! Haha. Well, it's actualli not a bad wae to gain back some weight (since i've lost ard 2kg since the start of the semester)...

The bai4 nian2 process was not as interesting though. In fact, it was boring.

Day 1 was the worst. After dressing up prettily and taking a 30-min car ride to my maternal grandparents' hse, all i did was to sit there the whole afternoon. And stone. And sae 'thank u' when adults (most of which i get to see onli once a year, thus they r like strangers to me) shove hongbaos into my face. Ok i admit, i did have a good shou1 huo4 - i got to catch the S.H.E. 'Encore' TV special! And i finally saw the 9-min music video that i've always wanted to watch! But well, that's not the pt. The pt is, it was a totally xianz experience. The onli highlight of the dae was when The Girl* (more about her later if i've the time) sauntered in wif her sisters and parents in tow... Guez wat did she wear? A black dress (wif juz 1 pink stripe)! Wat a perfect colour for CNY...

Day 2 (yest) was fun as usual. Coz day 2 is always reserved for my paternal relatives, and they r the ones i'm much closer to... All my cousins congregated to play card games, tok about everything under the sun, and eat non-stop! We even had steamboat together as well (i love steamboat so much)! It juz feels like the old daes, when they wld come to my hse every fortnight, and we wld juz get together and do everything together. It's such a homely feeling...

CNY has sorta come to an end, and life is more or less back to normal. How i wish we can have a 2-week public holidae like China! That will be great! As for now, hai, reality is setting in...

*The Girl is my mum's cousin's daughter, same age as me, currently in NTU acc. She comes from a filthy rich backgrd, and is proud of it. I always get compared to her during CNY, when her mum will put on a fake smile and ask me qns like 'oh my daughter said the A levels were ok, u think it's hard or not ah?'... I juz can't stand their hypocrisy. As to how rich she is, well, her grandpa bought her a veri posh car after she obtained her driving license recently, in order for her to travel to sch conveniently. Enuff said.

BlueStar sparkled at 11:05 PM  ~  0 stars

I hate ppl who juz vanish from the surface of the world for a few daes and suddenly juz msg me to ask me to meet up to prepare for a presentation.

I hate ppl who, in order to get things done, treat me like an object to be pushed ard.

I am not a fool. And i wun allow u to treat me like one. Get this straight, i'll onli play my role well, and the rest, is all up to u. I'm not gonna do anything about it.

BlueStar sparkled at 11:55 PM  ~  0 stars

Yay it's gonna be Chinese New Year veri veri veri soon! I'm sooooo excited!!! Haha think i've neva been so excited about CNY before eva since i stepped into sec sch... So y am i so excited this year? Hmmm guez it's coz life has been so hectic and stressful nowadaes, and i'm juz so glad that i can take a well-deserved break and immerse myself in the joyous atmosphere (by eating a whole lot of new year goodies! haha)... I love CNY!

But well, the week after CNY (which is next week) is gonna be a torture. Tut presentations, quizzes, deadline for graded assignments... *shudders* Shall not think too much. Shall enjoy CNY 1st.

Did anyone read The Straits Times yest? They introduced this recording studio at Tampines Mall where u can go to record ur veri own track and 'publish' ur own album for $38! Oh my god i wanna go!!! I wanna take this opportunity to fulfill this small little dream of mine! But well, i dun have much cash. Shall pray that i can get more hongbaos this year...

BlueStar sparkled at 9:41 PM  ~  0 stars

Had 2 strange dreams last nite. Now i finally understand wat is ri4 you2 suo3 si1, ye4 you2 suo3 meng4...

My 1st dream was about me going to KTV and singing my hearts out for the whole dae... I even had the chance to sing in the hall and some ppl actualli stood there to hear me sing! I can't remember much about the dream though, juz that i sang for veri long and eventually, i din need to pay coz the staff said i sang veri well! Haha wat a hilariously egoistical dream sia. Guez i must be missing my KTV too much le...

The 2nd dream (which is the clearer of the two) was a veri sad one... I actualli woke up wif tears on my cheeks and all... I dreamt that i was offered this opportunity of retaking my A levels so that i can get into the course i want (comm studies), so i realli put in all my effort into preparing for the exams and mugged like crazee... But in the end, i still din manage to get in. I was realli devastated, coz it was already my 2nd try at the As, but yet i still couldn't do well enuff to secure a place in comm studies... Imagine seeing ur dream being shattered twice... It was such a big blow to me, i juz couldn't stop crying. Then i woke up.

As i passed by the School of Communication and Information again juz now, i actualli felt the kinda sadness that i had felt in my dream... The feeling was so real. Perhaps the dream was juz trying to tell me that i'm realli not fated to be in comm studies... Zhen1 shi4 yong3 heng2 de4 yi2 han4...

BlueStar sparkled at 5:28 PM  ~  0 stars

Walked past the School of Communication and Information todae. Felt this tinge of sadness and regret... Guez i'll neva get over it completely...

Have been veri busy this week wif my OB report and all the other tuts... Shall blog more tmr or sth...

BlueStar sparkled at 12:11 AM  ~  0 stars