Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Sometimes i wonder... Y do opportunities always belong to others, but not
me? Wat is it that i lack? Luck? Effort? Or is everything juz
fated?
But i tell myself... I can't
yuan4 tian1 you2 ren2. Perhaps it's me who haven't worked hard enuff. Perhaps it's me who let opportunities pass me by.
Sometimes, to others, i may seem like i
have a lot of things... I'm not supposed to be here, writing such
depressing stuff. I bet some of u even think i'm juz exaggerating... I'm not. I'm juz writing about my feelings at this pt in time...
Sometimes i feel troubled and weighed down, but there may be no one for me to confide in. Sometimes i feel happy for ppl and sad for myself, and i feel
guilty for thinking that wae. I try to play down my emotions... I try not to think too much...
My future is
bleak... Everyone knoes how scared i am about next year. Sometimes i can flip through a week of newspapers, but there's not a single co that is recruiting grads of my specialisation. My heart
dies every time i read emails by recruiting companies which always state the requirements of "a good honours degree". So i try to
laugh it off. Tell myself it doesn't matter. But i knoe it
does... And it's my own fault.
Next year is the year where everything is going to
change. Suddenly, i'm going to be on
my own. Wat am i going to do... And who will be by my side... Too much
uncertainty...
Can't believe i'm tearing... Sometimes a sudden bout of depression strikes u and juz leaves u helpless... Juz let me be insane for a nite...
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